Much of the self-help content online emphasises rigid conformity to a daily routine. You’ve got Jocko Willink’s 4.30 am daily waking and work-out ritual. Then there are the biohackers with their 15-part morning routines, including meditation, cold plunge, sunlight exposure, and more.
There is of course value in routine and discipline — they can take you a long way in life. However, in observing my own life, I’ve realised that excessive routine and order can also be limiting. In fact, some of the darker moments of my life occurred when I was bound by routine. I was doing everything prescribed for a “good and healthy life”. Physically training, meditating, pursuing my goals, and keeping up with habits. Yet, I wasn’t fulfilled.
I arrived at a difficult truth. Reducing your life to an infinite to-do list isn’t fulfilling, even if you consider the items on your to-do list to be beneficial. It’s not a life at all. It’s a reduction of life into a repetitive process with no heart and soul. This speaks to a couple of deeper truths. The first is the approach you have to life and your habits.
In the past, I applied a harsh regimen to myself, forcing my way through it each day. My motivation was impure. I was ticking off habits with the idea of optimising my life and finally getting to where I wanted to be. Upon reflection, I realised that this eternal pursuit was a distraction. A way to escape deeper pain and shortfalls. You cannot “discipline” your way out of trauma, pain or errors in thinking.
Making your life a to-do list can simplify things, but you must apply some self-awareness. The simplification itself may be an escape or denial of the more complex aspects of life. Are there aspects of your life that you are ignoring in your pursuit of self-growth?
I felt I neglected many of my personal relationships and became isolated due to my drive. My fondest memories with loved ones don’t fit into a neat productivity framework. For me, ruthless adherence to structure was a subtle way to ignore more complicated aspects of life.
This is where a good balance between discipline and flexibility works wonders. These days, I prefer to front-load my work at the start of the day and week. This allows me to be more spontaneous later in the days and weeks to spend time on anything I want. It creates space for the beautiful chaos of life.
Chaos has opened up many doors for me. I met a videographer to help with my YouTube channel at an art event. I met members of my creative mastermind at a house party. I’ve connected with prominent creators through chance encounters online. I got to know some of my best friends through pure coincidence.
There’s growth, beauty and enrichment in things that you cannot easily quantify or predict. Sure, you may have been consistent with your meditation, training and journalling routine. That’s great. You may be expecting that your life will be better because of this. That said, how much did that unplanned meet-up with your friends add to your life’s happiness? That random chat with a stranger on a night out? That person who smiled and complimented you years ago?
Much of the incredible beauty of life comes unplanned. With proper structure of your life, you can chase down your goals and allow time for the spontaneity of life.
Another truth is that eternal order is unrealistic. No matter how disciplined you are and how perfect your schedule is, there will always be black swan events. That is, there will always be unpredictable and catastrophic events in life and the world that throw things off. This is not a bad thing — this is simply the nature of life.
Your goal then should not be to try to live a life of perfect and eternal order. That’s not realistic. The goal should be to live by a system that can withstand the chaotic realities of life. I discuss this at length in “Via Negativa — Why You Must Die In Order to Grow” and “Winning Requires Less Than You Think”. Simple systems based on a few principles, with in-built mechanisms for reflection and growth, are antifragile and best suited for chaos.
Here’s what it looks like.
Apply Via Negativa by cutting out the unnecessary aspects of your life.
Pick 2 or 3 domains where you want to improve. This is the realistic cap on what you can manage while applying enough energy to gain and maintain traction.
Pick the longest lever for each activity — the one that will yield the most gain for the given amount of effort.
Front-load these activities as early in your day as possible.
Have a weekly or daily reflective practice, such as journalling. This is to better understand where you can improve and why you might have fallen off the horse with your habits.
Implement measures to improve in each domain and prevent future setbacks in your consistency.
Chaos now becomes a learning lesson, allowing you to strengthen your routine, rather than being a force to wash away your progress.
This is a simplification of my approach. I will write about this in further depth and release a program on how to develop this properly. This approach affords you consistency without scheduling your life to oblivion, as well as room for chaos.
Complex daily routines aren’t advisable because they’re fragile. If you need a 15-step daily routine to start your day, what happens when you can’t complete a step? Additionally, the cognitive load required to knock off dozens of habits may be the very reason why you can’t complete them all. It’s just too much for your mind to handle.
There’s the phrase “Variety is the spice of life”. It really should be “Chaos is the spice of life”. If you’re feeling stuck, it’s likely that it’s because your life lacks variety and chaos. When was the last time you explored a novel idea, perhaps even one that you disagree with? Or got to know a complete stranger? Or attempted a training discipline you have no experience in?
Life is like a chemical reaction. If it becomes too calm and stagnant, you need chaos as a spark to get things moving and shaking again. If your life seems dull, it’s because it’s too predictable. There’s nothing to blip on your emotional radar. To this end, chaos is your friend. One that will keep you on your toes, pushing you to grow in order to keep up.
Remember, you cannot regiment yourself into happiness. There’s no amount of productivity and ticking off your to-do list that will make life exciting and compelling. Do not fear chaos, but embrace it. It’s what makes this game of life so fun.
Thanks for reading. Check out my YouTube channel below, where I create videos on similar topics to my Substack. I’ll be releasing a video tomorrow on why your life is immeasurably valuable. Stay tuned!
Brilliant!